Sunday Morning Coffee Chat: “How to Develop True Friendships and to Have/Keep True Friends.”

IMG_8039

I’ve been thinking about friendships lately and over the years since I was little, I made friends, had best friends, lost friendships like everyone does. I even ended two long term friendships with ladies who I thought we’d be best friends forever, one was my best friend (We’ll call her B) of almost twenty years, and my other so-called best friend (We’ll call her A) of almost eighteen years. There are good reasons why I couldn’t give my energy to them or be friends with them which I will discuss below.

In our lives, friends come and go of course and we always learn something from them, whether it’s what we don’t want in a friendship, or that putting all your loving energy into someone who doesn’t appreciate and/or reciprocate isn’t worth it. If you’re looking for a true friendship, or want to make sure a particular friend of yours is a “True Friend,” here are some tips and advice that may help. I’m speaking from experience. **On a side note some people like to have A LOT of friends or so called friends around them so they can feel good or popular, which is nothing wrong with that. Me personally, (again after trial and error friendships,) I’d rather have a small group of close and TRUE and LOVING friends than a huge group of FAIR WEATHER friends.

1.    Is is a 50/50 friendship?

I’ve had friends where I have always have been truly supportive in their times of need whether it be me grieving with them, listening to their problems, hearing the issues of their love life, etc., and when I try to get some support or advice from them, they are either too busy to talk on the phone or whatever, or they’re so self-involved that they don’t hear me or care. I don’t go for that. A true friend always makes time for you and communicates. Even if they can’t talk at the moment, a true friend will call or text you when they can. A true friendship is not one-sided.

2. Are you ALWAYS the one to call first and make plans?

This annoys me so much. With a lot of my so-called friends, (otherwise known as acquaintances,) and past friends I’m always the one calling to make plans, even if it’s just a dinner date or to come over for a drink, etc. That’s not cool. I’ve come to the point where for my own mental state, I can’t always be the one to initiate spending time with someone. My time is just as valuable as the other person and it is so extremely rude when people don’t respect your time.

3. In times of need, are they there for you?

This is probably the most important thing of a true friendship. Is your friend there for you in serious times of need, whether it’s a death in the family, a breakup, dealing with depression, anything. True friends should always be there for each other.

4. Can they peel themselves away from their significant partner to spend one on one quality time with you?

In my twenties, I dropped a girlfriend, (the one who I had been friends with for almost eighteen years because she could not peel her self away from her boyfriend. It was ridiculous. If I wanted to have “Girl Time,” with my friend, I wasn’t allowed because he had to be there. I don’t know who’s insecurity it was, his or hers, but it pissed me off and told my friend that and that I wanted to talk about personal issues with her that I didn’t want her new boyfriend to know, and that was the last time she spoke to me. What a great friend huh? To be fair, she treats her mother like garbage and always has since I’ve known her so I should’ve expected similar treatment.

I know this was a long Sunday Coffee Chat but I thought this was a good topic and can possibly help you determine who your close and true friends are. I am very selective with the special people I allow in my friendship circle and because of that, I HAVE SOME EXTREMELY WONDERFUL SPECIAL BEST FRIENDS THAT I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON AND WHO CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ME. I’VE FEATURED SOME OF THEM ON MY SITE HERE IN THE PAST AS WELL.

What are your friendships like? Do you have any stories you want to share? You know I always love to hear from you guys. Just leave them in the comment section as usual. Thank you for reading another edition of Sunday Coffee Chat and a HUGE SPECIAL THANK YOU TO MY VERY WONDERFUL TRUE FRIENDS! YOU KNOW WHO YOU BEAUTIFUL SOULS ARE. WINK WINK!

An extra special thanks to my long time sister Monica Martinez for always being there for me and never judging me through all the crazy crap her and I have both been through. I’ve known her for almost ten years.

Advertisements

Rest in Peace Dolores Chapman

This morning I woke up early to some absolutely devastating news. Dolores Chapman aka TipToeChick had passed away only a few days ago before Samhain which is the Witch’s New Year. She was only thirty-eight years old. I was in floods of tears when I heard this news. We are in the same community for Wicca and whenever I had spoken to her online, she was always so sweet and kind. She used the name TipToeChick for her youtube channel which is one of my all time favorite channels. I’ll be posting her channel information down below.

Besides all the videos she did on Wicca and spirituality, she also posted videos about her online business which was the “Green Eyed Owl”, healthy recipes, her wonderful family, and more. She did not make one video that I didn’t enjoy. The best thing about Dolores is that when you watch her videos, you don’t actually feel like you’re watching a regular youtube video. You feel like you were just having a conversation with a best friend. Even if you don’t practice Wicca, I still recommend checking out her channel. She had such a beautiful soul and very special energy which will live on.

IMG_7982

   Her best friend and another member of our community, “CharmingPixieFlora” posted a very good but very emotional video talking about TipToeChick as well as how to deal with grieving in general. It’s really a great video that I know came from her heart. I posted it below and I DEFINITELY think everyone should watch it.

   I’ve been sending prayers to her family and will be lighting candles in her honor. I know her spirit and soul is still with us  and watching over her family and friends. I love you Dolores. You will be missed TipToeChick. Blessed Be!

 

 

 

 

Happy Harvest

Good morning everyone. Happy November 1st. I hope you all had a fun and fabulously spooky Halloween.  What did you do to celebrate? Did you get dressed up? Leave your comments below. I’d love to know everyone’s traditions for my favorite holiday, my favorite season, and my favorite time of the year.

IMG_7979

Vintage Vampire Postcards

     I wanted to show you my vintage vampire postcards that I recently found from a few years ago. It was fun mixing doing spookiness with pinup. 

IMG_7949

IMG_7963

download

 

IMG_7961

IMG_7950

 

Hope you enjoyed these. There may be one that you might have seen on my Instagram. Please like, comment and follow if you haven’t already. HeHe. Thank you for all your support and again, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

 

My Favorite Halloween/Gothic/Spooky Channels and Spooky Shows

The first two YouTube channels you need to check out, AFTER YOU CHECK OUT and SUBSCRIBE to MY CHANNEL, we’re recommeded to me by one of my best friends Jordan Giuliani. 

792E916B-78E6-49E8-8E80-49DAC65D9BEE

The first YouTube channel recommendation is, “Lair of Voltaire.” He does amazing DIY gothic projects for his lair and for the last two months he’s been checking out stores like Target, JoAnn’s, etc., which has inspired me a lot with his ideas. 

2208982C-3B8C-4484-9C23-2BB19FA11380

The second YouTube channel Jordan recommended to me is called, “Maven of the Eventide,” where she reviews many, many, many vampire books, except maybe “Twilight.” Hahaha. Even if you’re not into Vampires, the way Maven speaks is very dramatic and funny. She puts on a Bela Legosa accent when she introduces her self and it’s so funny. I love her. 

121CFF6E-F447-4392-BAB9-98EEA372F754

The last YouTube channel that I ran into is Ms. Sara Monster! I am obsessed with her. She is so gorgeous and does beauty tips for rock and roll/ goth girls like the perfect black lipstick, how she quickly does her makeup and hair before she goes to work, and reviews products and a lot more. I met her through YouTube and are becoming friends through Instagram. She’s a sweetheart and definitely recommend her. 

 

SHOWS:

FE2E8354-5FB8-4944-8810-23F7DACDD3DC

“Curious Creations by Christine McConnell” You can watch Christine on Netflix and can see previews of her on her YouTube channel. She makes the coolest spooky inspired food, from starters to mains, to dessert. I’ve been inspired in making some of her delicious delicacies. 

 

BLOGS:

54E49F13-D0BC-4D5E-BEB3-5F655E8EEA78

I follow and love many blogs but my favorite spooky DIY blog is “Me and Annabel Lee.” She makes a lot of amazing DIY pieces plus she has a fantastic store that I might be buying from her soon. She also helped me a lot when I became part of the Samhain Society which I’m very grateful for!