Sunday Morning Coffee Chat, “Age-Shaming and Dealing with Negativity during PhotoShoots”

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Good morning everyone. Happy Sunday and here’s another edition of Sunday morning coffee chat. As I’ve said in past Sunday posts, this is about talking and/or expressing my views and opinions on issues and topics that I normally don’t talk about on my site here. Because I missed last Sunday, today is a two for one post.

Topic number One: Age Shaming

A big pet peeve of mine is when people think I don’t know what I’m talking about, or that I am dumb, or inexperienced just because I’m younger then them. I especially used to get this a lot when I was in my early twenties but the truth was that the majority of my friends were older than me and would forget my age because we had the same maturity level. I really hate when people, especially when I have to work with them on a shoot or a show, are condescending or try to shove their age, experience, and so-called professionalism in my face. After having a bunch of so-called friends in my life that I stopped being friends with because of the way they treated me or took advantage of my friendship, I’m VERY GOOD at reading people and the impressions they give off.

Concerning being on shoots or behind the scenes of a performance, I’ve encountered a few people that have treated me like a brand new model or performer who they think can boss me around or treat me poorly. That EXTREMELY bothers me because they don’t know what I’ve done and for how long, my experiences I’ve had, and all the things I’ve been through. I DON’T PUT UP WITH THAT SHIT AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU!!! No shoot or job is worth it if it’s going to upset you or bring down your self-esteem. ALWAYS BE CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF AND YOUR SKILLS AND TALENT. ALSO STAND UP TO ANYONE WHO IS MAKING YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF WHETHER IT’S YOUR AGE OR ANYTHING. WHAT’S THE WORSE THAT CAN HAPPEN IF YOU STAND UP FOR YOURSELF? When you do stand up for yourself, you don’t need to cuss at the person who’s upsetting you. I know it’s hard and I’ve had to control myself going completely off before. (I admit that sometimes I fail at that.) Instead be extra polite when confronting the person and show how confident you are when you speak because you know what you’re talking about and the person will pick up on your confidence and most likely won’t be rude or treat your poorly again.

Just because I may be younger than you, doesn’t mean you know what I’ve been though in my life. I can get very angry when people say things like that to me. If I know the person and it’s in a playful manner then I’m not bothered. If I know the intention is vindictive, then I’ll most likely tell them that it’s none of their business or to “shut the fuck up.” I can honestly say that I’ve never age-shamed someone for being too young or too old.

 Topic Two: More About Dealing with negativity or drama during photoshoots:

I wanted to talk about this specifically as advice for new models or for people, especially girls who are interested in getting into modeling. I’m speaking from personal experience about a scenario that happened to me a few months back. Another HUGE PET PEEVE OF MINE is when the person in charge of the shoot, whether if it’s a group or individual shoot, tells me that they “Always protect their girls and their model’s safety and comfort level, and to tell them if you are having an issue with anyone on set,” and then when you do tell them a concern or a harassing issue that happened between you and a certain photographer or another person on set, that same person who preaches about keeping their girl’s safe and sticking up for them, goes to that photographer and tells them what you said about them and then takes the side of the them instead of yours.

   And to top it off, that photographer that was making others uncomfortable, angry, and who had been rude confronts you through messaging for voicing your concerns to the person in charge of the shoot. I had that happen to me and I didn’t even say anything about them. I was actually with another model and another photographer that told the person in charge how aggressive and rude this certain photographer was behaving and I just agreed with them. And then the rude photographer who didn’t even give me any of the photos he shot of me because he tried to get money from me, messages me and confronts only me about talking about him. I was the only one he confronted which pissed me off because I wasn’t the person who really said anything and the person in charge “stirred the pot” and told him what was said and through me “under the bus” for no reason. And even when I told them that he was messaging me which was extremely unprofessional and weird and even showed screenshots to show that I wasn’t exaggerating, she still took his side. And then when I asked him a simple question about my photos he had shot of me, he tried to tell me that the group shoot was a TFP shoot which means trade for prints or trade for photos. I told him I knew what it meant and that I had been modeling for awhile. And if it was a TRADE shoot, why did he try to charge me or even take pictures of me if he knew he wasn’t going to give me any of my images?

I was so angry as well as my husband who is also a photographer as well as friends of mine who’ve worked with me many times. My husband almost was ready to get involved with the situation. I was upset because not only did I get confronted by a condescending ass of a photographer but I lost all respect and trust for the person who put the shoot together. The whole situation was so unprofessional and bizarre. I don’t mind sharing this experience because it may help other models be aware of what can happen on a shoot behind the scenes and will know what to do if a similar situation happens to them. No shoot is worth you feeling that way. If you’re a new model or have an interest in modeling be sure to not let anyone treat you that way no matter what and to again always have confidence in yourself.

Thank you for reading this and for your support. Be sure to leave your comments and opinions below and to subscribe to my site if you haven’t already.

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10 Looks For Summer: Outfit Eight: “Vintage Rock and Roll Music Tops”

Ok you all know that I LOVE MUSIC, especially Rock and Roll and collect concert tees, vintage concert tees from my favorite bands, and even new modern music tees that you can just buy in regular stores. If you’ve been following my site here for a while, you might remember a DIY post I wrote a few years ago titled, “Getting Creative with Concert T-Shirts,” where I show you had to transform your concert tees into different rent looks by cutting them, tying them, taking extra large shirts and turning them into dresses, and more. Here’s the link below in case you haven’t seen it.  

     https://bombshell2016.blog/2016/01/07/getting-creative-with-concert-t-shirts/

In this summer inspired look, I took one of my music shirts and instead of pairing it with a pair of jeans or shorts, I dressed it up a bit to show that you can dress up and casual top, especially if it’s a rock and roll/music top. Here I show my favorite Beatles top and paired it with a classic blazer since the weather is starting to finally get a little cooler, slowly but I’ll take it. I paired my cool “The Beatles” top, which is my all time favorite band by the way, with my silver silk pants. I love these pants because you can wear them long or pull them up a little bit so they have a more Capri silhouette In these photos I pulled them up to show of my gold spiked ankle boots with my seven inch gold heels. I love these and who says you can’t pair gold and silver together? I topped my look with my black sequined scarf around my neck that my husband bought me on our very first vacation we took together to New York after dating a year.

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Hope you enjoy my eighth summer inspired look. Only two more to go. Thank you everyone and have a great day.

 

Sunday/Thursday Morning Coffee Chat, “Giving Zero F*cks”

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I know I was supposed to post this topic this past Sunday but for personal reasons I couldn’t, so I’m making it up this morning with my cold Frappachino bottle and talking about “giving zero fucks.” 

I chose this topic because when I was younger, I definitely cared about what certain people and friends thought of me. By the time I reached my early 20’s I started caring less and less what anyone thought of me or if they disagreed with my opinions. I could’ve cared less. Unless it was my hubby’s opinion, haha. Wink wink!

   During those college years, I started realizing that after highschool, it’s not a popularity contest and no one gives a fuck how cool you were in highschool! 

I actually have a tattoo, my first word one, that says, “This is Life, not Heaven,  you don’t have to be Perfect!,” which is what I live by.  As long as my family and loved ones are happy, I’m happy!

My biggest advice to especially younger people or to anyone is to not care what anyone thinks about you.  Here’s a good book that I just got and already love that I recommend checking out.

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   Hope this little advice helps!!!! Lots of love!!!!!

Sunday Morning Coffee Chat

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   Some of you know may not know that I collect coffee mugs. I’ve been buying unique and fun mugs for many years and I enjoy doing it.  With that said, I wanted to start today off with my Pink Octopus mug by wishing everyone a good morning and a wonderful week.

This morning’s topic I wanted to talk about is ANXIETY AND PANIC ATTACKS!

   I also wanted to talk about a few things that I’ve never mentioned here before. I know that we all tend to have chaotic events and craziness in different parts of our lives that sometimes are too intense for us to deal which can cause MAJOR ANXIETY and/or PANIC ATTACKS.  That usually means that we need to give ourselves a break. The reason why I wanted to write about this is because I suffer from both of those things a lot of the time. I’m dealing with A LOT of craziness right now, mainly because I’m dealing with people in my family, health issues, and just stuff that is very overwhelming and causes my anxiety to kick in overdrive. For me personally, because everything seems crazier than usual I realized how important and healthy it is to take some time for yourself to decompress and get your mind clear of any chaos. I know it’s easier said than done but I myself am trying to be more positive and to not have my anxiety kick in when everything seems like it hits you at once. 

If you’re feeling that you need a break from the everyday craziness, stop what you’re doing, take deep breaths, close your eyes if you want, and breathe in and out slowly. While doing this, either clear your mind of any kind of negativity, and focus on your breath or think of things that make you feel happy. It may sound obvious and cheesy but it actually does help. Also because anxiety attacks can cause you to feel extra warm, drinking cold water or putting an ice pack on the back of your neck helps you and your body feel back to normal faster.

Oh and when I say that you should take a break, that doesn’t mean doing a bunch of other things besides what you were in the middle of. It’s better sometimes to just not do anything. Also if you don’t give yourself a break and time to yourself, you’ll end up feeling drained. Your body reacts to how you’re feeling emotionally which can cause you to make yourself sick or achy because you’re burning the candle at both ends without taking the time to care about your own well-being. You always need to take care of yourself first before anyone else. Usually If you don’t, you’re eventually going to blow up which is never a good thing. Whenever I feel that way, I drop what I’m doing if I can and sit or stand peacefully while taking slow deep breaths and try to find your “center or balance.” Again I know this sounds like the obvious but I’m talking about things that personally help me that can maybe help others.

I hope you enjoyed this morning coffee post and thank you for reading it. If you suffer from any kind of stress or anxiety, I hope this helped. Another huge reason why I wanted to touch on this area was not just because it’s what I’m going through, but because I know many people who have anxiety feel like they’re alone or they don’t want to tell anyone how they feel because they’re embarrassed or that there is a stigma about it. If you experience anxiety or anything like that, always remember that you’re not alone in this world.

Financial BIG Tips and Tricks

Figure out where your money is going:

   Having a large amount of debt doesn’t mean that you can’t make big purchases. Although you have to have to very smart in your approach, there is almost always a way to find the funds you . The first (and most crucial) step that you should take, is to find out where your money is going. In other words, you must have a budget which is so crazy that so many people say they don’t that. Maybe because I have a BRILLIANT ACCOUNTANT FATHER. He does a lot financial work. A budget enables you to know how much money you have to put aside toward your big purchase.

Make a savings plan:

The best strategy for making a big purchase while in debt is to not add more of it. Rather than applying for another credit card/ loan right away, see what you can do to save up for the item that you need. Since you’ve already made a budget, you should know exactly how much you can set aside each week. If your finances and timing allow, create a savings journal so you can reach your goal in an estimated date for when you plan to reasonably reach that crossroad. Depending on the urgency of the big purchase you’ll be making, see how long you can go without in order to avoid further debt.

Quickly clean up your credit if you will need financing:

 Whether you have to find a replacement for your car, etc, you may not be able to pay off all of your existing debt right away.

   If your priority is to buy your desired purchase, do whatever you can to quickly clean up your credit.  I myself am very good at paying all my credit card bills on time and in full to avoid interest. Of course sometime emergencies happen which is why I have a certain credit card for that but for the most part, I pay everything off.  Another financial tip, which should be a no-brainer is to pay your bills on time, even if it’s the minimum balance. That way you don’t rack up any late fees. Any boost to your credit score (and reduction of your current debt) will make your life sooooooo much easier and you’ll be able to do things in your life, like buy a house, have money set away  for your children, and a lot more.

   HOPE THESE TIPS AND ADVICE HELP YOU, ESPECIALLY TO THE ONES THAT HAVE A HIGH DATE. THANK YOU AND LOT OF LOVE!

photos above are not my original work.

Sexy Hair Styles with Carol Cardinale

I have to do give one of my good friends, Carol Cardinale a huge shoutout. I first met her because she became my new hair stylist. After a few visits, we realized we had a lot in common and liked to laugh a lot, and just have a nice time. We shared some experiences which have helped me through any negative times. She is also fun as hell.

I idid this video to give a nice and to her shoutout to her. Enjoy!: