Sunday Morning Coffee Chat: “Privacy and Pressuring People”



Morning everyone. Here’s another edition of  “Sunday Morning Coffee Chat.” Today’s topic is on privacy. I’ve noticed that people have a big issue with privacy, whether it’s feeling that they’re too private and don’t share enough or that they don’t keep anything private in their lives, or that others make them feel bad about being too private and not opening up, etc. This is how I feel about that. Being private is never a bad thing. What I think lands in a gray area sometimes is the difference between being private or not being private enough VERSUS people getting frustrated with the people they love and care about because they “SHUT DOWN”  and never really open up and share important issues in their lives. That’s not the focus of today’s article but I know I will discuss more about “shutting down” and the “Gray area” in the future., (maybe next post.)

Today I wanted to talk about privacy in the sense of how people can sometimes expect and pressure you to tell your whole life story a few seconds after you first meet them. I really hate when people overstep their boundaries and try to insert themselves in other people’s business or situations that they don’t know anything about. That probably annoys me the most. 

I consider myself a somewhat private person. Yes I’m on social media and I have a few sites including a youtube channel, but the main reason I have all that is to promote myself and my work. I don’t use every social media service either. I only have Instagram, which is what I use the most, Facebook, and twitter which I don’t use as much anymore, With that said, I never really post photos of my family except for my husband but even with him, I pick and choose which pictures to post so he is comfortable, especially since he doesn’t use social media as much as I do. Even though I’m private and very selective about posting things about my family, I don’t clock my friends or anyone who are proud and want to show pictures of their loved ones.  It’s everyone’s own personal choice. For me personally, especially since we live in an era of social media, I enjoy having some mystery in my life.

Now when it comes to meeting a new person and wanting to get to know them better, or even if you know the person already, you can’t force them to open up to you if they don’t want to. If you keep pressuring them, it usually makes them retreat and do the opposite, at least that’s what happens with me. If someone is teasing or bothering me to talk, I usually end up keeping my mouth shut and ignoring their request. You shouldn’t ever feel bad or weird if you don’t want to share certain things with others. You keep whatever you want in your life private and don’t ever feel guilty about that.

I have a HUGE PROBLEM with people overstepping their bounds. I’ve had that happen to me which I talked about in my last Sunday/Wednesday Coffee Chat post which was called, “Don’t Involve Yourself in My Family.” I don’t appreciate when people try to “Catch Me” in something to make themselves look better and/or to prove me wrong. When people have tried to confront me about something specific they think I may have said or done, not being open with them, or being overly private, I just think to myself as well as saying out loud, “Yeah and what’s your point?” or “It’s None of Your Business.” I get really upset and pissed off when people interfere in other people’s lives when it’s not out of concern. If you’re truly concerned about someone because of a situation that is unhealthy or possibly dangerous, that’s completely different. I have an issue when people interfere just to create drama, especially when it involves me and especially when it’s someone who I thought I could trust and count on to support me and to not interfere where they don’t belong.

To finish this off, my advice to anyone who deals with people getting overly involved in their private life, is to not post things online that you don’t want to have to explain, tell people to mind their own business if you know their intentions aren’t pure, and to always have confidence in yourself and to trust your instincts, especially when deciding what to keep private in your life. And I will say this one more time. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty for keeping some things private in your life. It’s your prerogative.

   Thank you for spending another Sunday morning having a quick discussion with me. I appreciate you all and see you very soon. Happy Sunday!

Sunday/Wednesday Coffee Chat: “Don’t InvolveYourself in My Family!”

817BF85D-3C89-4257-AB4A-BB4144C455DEGood morning everyone, here’s another morning coffee chat about a new topic and my experience. I’m posting this today cause I’ve been dealing through a lot lately but wanted to keep working and writing for you guys. Today’s morning topic is all about people involving themselves in my family business. I’m very big on boundaries. I’m not talking about kids and their families. I’m talking about people who involve themselves with my parents relationships which I’ve seen with my own eyes, which I almost punched that person out, but I didn’t because I’m a lady.

Another perfect example about not getting involved in family members that angered me so much was when of my husband’s relatives wrote a quote on my Facebook under my status which is a strong and positive quote to me. It said and you may recognize cause I’m said it a few time, “Don’t poke a bear in the zoo sweetiepie!” That meaning to me means to attack me because you think I’m inferior. I’ll defend myself if you “poke” at me. (And by the way I didn’t name anyone when I posted this simple quote and I didn’t invent the quote.)

So after the quote was posted on my Facebook, which I only use for promoting my art, selling my pieces, and promoting bombshell, I got a call from my husband when he was working yelling and asking what I posted. I had no idea what he was talking about especially since Nima rarely is on there. What he told him, I thought my head would explode…,

My amazing husband told me that his cousin, who I also considered my cousin, is on Facebook who I’m friends with and bothered my husband at work who works the hardest out of EVERYONE in his family, asking if I was ok or if I was going to hurt myself. That’s absolutely crazy!!! She’s a psychiatrist so she over analyzes every thing. My husband apologized and we were both pissed how his cousin who was my family started an argument between my husband and I and when I told her I was upset so was puzzled and her excuse was, “Well it was the only time this happened so why are you two upset?” It’s almost comical! I said we are allowed to be angry. 

I know this is long but I’m wrapping up this Sunday coffee chat by saying some words of advice. 

1. I don’t care if you grew up with my husband, we are in a marriage and don’t EVER come in between my marriage unless you know what you’re talking about. Unless there is DOMESTIC ABUSE in the family, don’t get involved! You don’t always know the situation!

2. DON’T EVER ATTACK MY Family!!!! Like I said earlier, “Don’t poke a bear in the zoo!”

Thank you for reading this and all your support and listening to my opinions and experiences. Make sure to like and comment and follow my site if you haven’t already below!!!!!!